Three secret wishes
by CyberSerpent
Summary: PG for some language, anywayz, Kamatari gets 3 wishes from Shishio (dont ask) for a genie from a well. What will he wish for besides a feminine body?(ooh and guest appearance by Chou, Yumi, and Soujiro! Everyone loves Soujiro!)


Disclaimer- I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

Disclaimer- I don't own Rurouni Kenshin

A/n- ::sigh:: ffn is _still _not on??? Well then I'll just write something to pass the time.This is about Kamatari Honjo (mister I-love-Shishio-and-I-hate-Yumi), and how he gets three wishes from a genie.(This was at the time that the juppon-gattana were still at its best, with Shishio alive, you know, before everyone either left or died)

Three secret wishes 

Kamatari Honjo woke up, rubbing his eyes sleepily.Where was he?Oh right, at his bedroom, duh.But after the fight with Shishio-sama…Kamatari squeezed his eyes shut."No, don't think about it." He instructed himself, slipping on a baby blue kimono dotted with pink blossoms.

A knock sounded at his door.

"Who is it?" Kamatari called out.

"Soujiro, Kamatari-san." A cheerful voice replied from behind the door."I've brought something for you."

"Something for _me?" _Kamatari tightened his sash and walked briskly to the door."Coming, Sou-chan."

He opened the door and revealed Soujiro, looking even more happy than normal, hands out with an envelope in hand.

"Eh?" Kamatari cocked his head.

"It's from Shishio-sama." 

"NANI???" Kamatari jumped so high his head almost hit the ceiling.

Soujiro nodded."I dunno wutz in it but Shishio-sama just said to deliver it so…"

"I see," Kamatari took the envelope."Thanks Sou-chan, you can go now."

Soujiro nodded again and was off, gently shutting the door behind him.

Kamatari plopped down on the chair and with unsteady hands, tore the letter out of the envelope.

It read:

Kamatari 

_Due to the fight yesterday you had with me about your gift for my birthday, I can say that you must be very eager to please me.Well Yumi and I had a brief discussion yesterday and she finally relented to give you part of her ten secret wishes.She gave you three.What are secret wishes, you ask?Well, secret wishes are wishes you make to the genie at the bottom of a well.The wishes she have and you have now are wishes from the genie at the well behind our house._

_Just say these magic words for the genie to come up:_

_Pilipala, the hallowed well goddess, materialize before me!_

_Best regards,_

_Shishio-sama_

_ _

Kamatari reread the whole letter over again disbelievingly, then placed the letter on his desk, and walked out to the well at the backyard of the house.

~*~

"Oi, Kamatari!" Chou knocked on the door.There was no reply."Kamatari?"

He knocked again.

When there was still no reply, he kicked at the door angrily and yelled, "KAMATARI you gay fag OPEN UP!"

When that didn't work Chou decided to try the door himself.Strangely it opened."Eh?"

He walked into Kamatari's room and scanned over the items of the room.A kimono casually tossed aside on a chair with a hakama and gi; his weapon, the heavy sickle (izzat what's it's called?) with the black ball chained to it leaned against the left wall; and a white letter on the desk.

Chou walked interestedly to the desk and picked up the letter.He read it, both eyes widened, and grinned devilishly.

~*~

Soujiro walked back to his room, and bumped into Yumi on the way."Hiya Yumi-san." He said good-naturedly.

"Hmph." Yumi answered, seemingly disgruntled about something.

"What is it?" Soujiro asked.

Yumi waved off the question, muttering, "Nothing that concerns you.Bye." And walked off in a fit.

"Eh?" Soujiro smiled puzzledly (you know, when he doesn't know something but smiles anyways?He looks sooooo cyyyuuute like that!).

~*~

"I guess this is it." Kamatari looked at the moss-covered well in front of him.He braced in front of the well, took a deep breath, and said, "Pilipala, the hallowed well goddess, materialize before me!"

A swirl of gold and silver stardust twirled around the well and Kamatari, and he gasped as the stardust bunched together to form a beautiful woman with deep lavender eyes, droplets of water dotted her shimmering aquatic hair, and she had on a silky baby blue dress trailing down below her shins.

Kamatari gaped at the well goddess, mouth hitting the floor.

~*~

Chou elbowed another bush out of the way as he spied on Kamatari.

"There he is," he murmured to himself as he spotted Kamatari nearing a well.Kamatari mumbled a few words and suddenly a tornado of shining dust gathered and the most beautiful woman Chou had ever seen appeared in front of Kamatari.

"I think I'm in love…"

~*~

"Hello, you have called me out?" the goddess looked at Kamatari.

Kamatari could only nod.

"How many wishes do you have?"

"Um—er—" Kamatari thought for a while."Three."

"Three?" the goddess asked.

"Is there an echo in here?" Kamatari said impatiently."Yes I said three."

The goddess smiled, "Saucy aren't you, little girl."

Kamatari colored."I'm a guy."

The goddess did a double take, "Say _what???"_

Kamatari sighed, "Look let's just get to the wishes here, k?" 

"Oh yes sure." The goddess nodded again."As you know, I'm Pilipala, the goddess of the well here, and I can grant you three wishes…so your first wish?"

"I want to have a female body." Kamatari replied instantly.

~*~

Chou poked at his ear, did he hear right?Girly-boy Kamatari was getting a girl's body?

This is getting good…

~*~

Yumi suddenly stopped in her tracks to her room._Waitaminnit, if girly-boy gets three wishes the first thing I reckon he wants is a feminine body, then Shishio, then to be better than Soujiro!The first two I simply **cannot **allow!Especially the second!_

She thought this all over and began by going first another "victim" of Kamatari's wish-making: Soujiro Seta.

As she neared the boy's room, she banged on the door."Open up, Soujiro!" she shouted.

The boy's head poked out from his door, "Yes Yumi-san?"

"Come with me, I need for you to take me to the well behind our house immediately.And since you're the fastest in the Juppon-Gattana, besides Henya, but he's a bit too creepy, I need you take me there." Yumi commanded.

Soujiro walked out of his room and took a look up and down Yumi.He used hand to measure his height and then Yumi's height.She was taller than him by a few inches."That might be a little hard since I've never carried anyone while I used that attack and since you escape my height by a few inches…that means you might escape my weight by a few pounds."

"Shaddup and get me there already!" Yumi clenched her fists.

~*~

Chou looked behind him and gave the official Rurouni Kenshin "ORO!" face when he saw Soujiro carrying Yumi in his arms approaching at full-speed.

"Shhh!SHHHH!" he screeched as quietly as he could as the duo reached the bush he was hiding in.

"Chou?What are you doing he—" Yumi started, but was muffled halfway as Chou covered her mouth.

"You can go now Soujiro." Chou told the puzzled boy.

"If you say so, Chou-san." Soujiro began making his way back to his room.

~*~

Kamatariheard the goddess say, "Close your eyes." And the next thing he knew there was a _whoosh _and he was lifted off his feet by golden sparkletts similar to the ones that circled the goddess before.His squinted thru his eyes at the goddess, she was waving her hands and chanting something.

As Kamatari was lowered to the ground, he felt himself for any specific changes (a/n- ewww…).

"It's done, you're now a girl." The goddess smiled as Kamatari began to smile as she realized that, yes, she was a girl officially.

~*~

Yumi and Chou's jaws both hit the floor when Kamatari was magically transformed into a woman before their eyes.They exchanged looks and nodded: they have got to stop Kamatari from getting her other two wishes before disaster and chaos wreak the earth and the Juppon-Gattana.

And, Chou silently added slyly to himself, get a wish for himself and maybe somehow snag the well chick.

~*~

Kamatari grinned gratefully at the goddess, "Thank you soooo much!Now for my second wish I wan—!!!" her mouth was covered by a pair of rather familiar gloves."Chmow!" she said thru the gloves, her voice voice muffled by them.

"You are _not _gonna get Shishio-sama, little boy—er, girl!" Yumi retorted, prodding a finger at Kamatari's face.

A vein popped in Kamatari's head and, taking a deep breath, she bit down hard at Chou's hands.

"YOOOOWWWWCH!" he exclaimed, shaking his hands away from her.

"Yumi!Chou!WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?!?!" Kamatari said angrily.

"Um…eh…" Yumi elbowed Chou's ribs, hissing at him, "you explain!"

"Jeesh so pushy." Chou grumbled, but said to a steaming Kamatari, "See, Yumi came here for no good reason at all but I have a reason!A good rea—OW!What didja kick me for, you slut?!" 

Yumi glared daggers at him and awarded him with another kick at the shins, "Take that you sword idiot."

"Will someone _please _explain to me what's going on?" Kamatari tapped her foot impatiently.

The well goddess tapped Kamatari's shoulder, "The second and third wish?"

"Oh yeah!Almost forgot." Kamatari twirled back, with a smile on her face.

"Nooooo!!!" Yumi wailed, then suddenly grinned deviously."Genie!Her second wish is to be a man again!"

"SAY WHAT?!" Kamatari came at Yumi with a death chop but it was too late, the wish was granted and the damage ws done.Kamatari was back to a guy.

"Noooo!!!!YUMI!" Kamatari groaned."Oh well." He cheered up."I'll just use my last wish to make into a girl ag—CHOU!" he screamed suddenly as he saw Chou "explaining" to the goddess about Kamatari's last wish.

"See, Kama's a real nice guy, and he agreed to let me have his last wish, and so it's—" Chou was cut off as Kamatari threw a kick at him.

"Pilipala!" Kamatari barked fiercely at the confused genie.

"Hai?"

"My last wish is to—"

"Give me the wish!" Chou intercepted.

"No, me!" Yumi cried.

"MY LAST WISH IS—" Kamatari raised her voice.

"Wish granted." Pilipala abruptly said, and a mist of shimmering gold and silver circled a small body that no one noticed before.And suddenly Soujiro was standing back on the ground, looking at his hands and marveling."Why thank you, Ms. Pilipala!"

"My pleasure, little boy." The goddess winked and disappeared back down the well.

"SOUJIROU!" Kamatari and Chou roared, ganging up on the boy.

Yumi kicked both of them aside and knelt down next to Soujiro, "What did you wish for?"

"For the scars on my hands to disappear.See, when I was still with a step family they whipped my hands once when I was six and since then I had five vertical and two horizontal scars on my left palm and two vertical and three horizontal on my right.I hated them because they disturbed my training but now they're gone and it's all thanks to that goddess!" Soujiro explained excitedly.

"Good for you.Maybe I should have given you the wishesin the first place instead of this clown and his sidekick." Yumi jerked her thumb and Kamatari and Chou.

Soujiro laughed, "Thank you Yumi-san.But I think Kamatari-san and Chou-san are pretty nice to me."

Kamatari ruffled Soujiro's hair and smiled, "See ya later, guy."

Chou grinned at Soujiro, "Nice compliment, smiley.Maybe I'll teach you how to drink someday.To make you tough, you know." And walked off.

Soujiro waved at the duo departing.Then later, as he and Yumi walked back to the house, he said, "You know, if Kamatari was a girl, he would look pretty good with Chou."

Yumi laughed, "Oh, you."

A/n- like it?My first RK humor/general.I think I like it fairly well cuz it had Kamatari and Soujiro in it, two of my all-time favs.At first this started out as a just Kamatari fic but later on I added in Yumi, Chou, and Soujiro in just for laffs.^^ 

And now, let's go on to our personal interviews about "Three Secret Wishes"'s actors/actresses!

CyberSerpent (CS for short): first we have the "main" character, Kamatari!

Kamatari: I play such a sad role in here…but I like the idea of me being female!

Yumi: I think it's horrendous that you might be female.

{{Kamatari slaps Yumi}}

Yumi: How dare you!{{slaps back}}

Kamatari: OW!{{slaps back}}

Yumi: Fag!{{slap}}

Kamatari: whore!{{slap}}

CS: Girls!…um girl and guy!

Chou: this is chaos.

Soujiro: eh?{{smile smile}}

CS: Soujiro!CUTEY!{{glomps Soujiro}}

Soujiro: {{sweatdrops}} eh heh heh…kindly get off me

Kamatari: {{stops slapping Yumi for a while}} hey CS I thought you said you liked me too.

CS: yeah but glomping Soujiro looks more normal since some ppl might mistake you for a girl and might mistake me for a homo.

Kamatari: teehee. {{Yumi sees a chance and slaps Kamatari}} OW!You bitch!{{slaps Yumi}}

Yumi: that was my beauty mark!{{slap}}

{{Soujiro, Chou, and CS quietly slink out}}

{{CS slinks back}}

CS: oh yeah!I forgot the ending!

Later dayz!

CyberSerpent .~

Kamatari: die slut!{{slap}}

Yumi: you die, baka!{{slap}}

{{CS sweatdrops and drags the two out, muttering, "Story's over, you two."}}


End file.
